pleasing a woman
Men: It really isn’t difficult or expensive to please a woman. Here are 40 little things you can do for her to make her happy (and show her you’re the greatest)!
This article is based on two very basic but enduring principles:
1. There is more happiness in giving than in receiving, and
2. It’s the little things that mean the most.
After time passes in a relationship, couples tend to grow apart. Don’t let it stay that way! You can always work on making your relationship come alive again. There are things that both of you can do to reconnect, rediscover, and become one again.
I am writing this for the man in the relationship, although she’s not the only one that will benefit. It is most likely that once you take the first step to showing her how much she means to you, she will automatically and happily reciprocate. People forget that a good relationship doesn’t just happen on its own—it takes work! (Yes, I said that four-letter word: WORK!) But she isworth it! If you truly love her and know that you have a wonderful woman by your side, you will do anything to keep her. Believe me, you may search forever and not find another woman like her. Trust me, if you do some or even all of the things on this list, she will fall in love with you all over again!pleasing a woman
The 40 little things I am going to share with you are not difficult or expensive or perverted. These things are thoughtful, romantic, kind, funny, and (yes, guys), sensitive!
People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.
— Joseph F. Newton
Has it been a while since you two have connected? Are you wrapped up in the cares of this world (job, hobbies, television, and other things) that take your time away from each other? Maybe you spend time together as a family with your children, but not focused specifically on each other. Fall in love again, be excited about seeing each other at the end of the day and yes, make love that is tender and sweet and gentle, not perfunctory. Life is too short to waste it being unhappy.
I know you men are probably saying “Why do I always have to be the one to make the first move?” or “What if I try all of these things and she doesn’t respond? I’ve just made a fool of myself!” Excuse me for saying this, but it is exactly this type of thinking that may have caused you to grow apart in the first place.
Men, please, swallow your pride and try these things. What have you got to lose? Instead of holding on to all that pride, hold on to her! You are obviously reading this because you are looking for help in your relationship. That was not an easy step to take, but at least you took it. I commend you for wanting to work on your relationship and make her love you even more than you ever thought possible.pleasing a woman
How to Make Her Happy: Put Love Notes in Random Places
You want her to know that you are thinking of her throughout the day. You will be her hero if you do this! Women love little surprises, and after she finds a love note from you tucked into her coat pocket (or on the dashboard or in her lunch bag), she will be bragging to all of her girlfriends about what a wonderful man she has.
I can’t tell you where to put them, you will have to get creative. I have left notes for my man in the plastic bag that I put his sandwich in, under the shaving cream, inside a folded pair of underwear, in his coat pocket, Bible, briefcase, suit pocket, and over the visor in his car, just to name a few.
Don’t assume she knows she looks or smells good. Everyone wants and needs to hear when others notice them. She will always want to look and smell nice for you if you let her know how much you appreciate the effort. She married you because she wanted to make you happy—let her know she’s succeeding!
When I was much younger, I was a bit self-centered and didn’t have many friends. I took a self-assessment to learn what I could do to change and discovered that people are much more pleasant to be around if they take the focus off themselves and notice the good in others instead. So give her a compliment!
You cannot believe how hard this was for me in the beginning. It felt awkward and insincere, but I kept using this technique, and it worked. I began noticing the good in others, and by telling them what I noticed, it made me feel better about myself.I was no longer self-centered, had lots of friends, and began receiving compliments myself!
Funny how that works: Give, and you get back a hundredfold!
Music always lightens the mood. When she gets home from work, after dinner, or just before you two drift off to sleep, put on some music you know she likes.
I know after I have had a stressful day at work, music will not only calm me down, but will put me in a much better mood so that I am more receptive to my husband’s advances. Then, at bedtime, I feel soothed and relaxed and yes, even romantic. Play music for her and she will respond and thank you for putting her in better spirits.
She will be even more impressed if you play one of her favorites and dance with her. She’ll be amazed that you remembered the song she loves and since she’ll already be in your arms, she’ll probably kiss you!
How to Make Her Happy: Express Gratitude
If she does something sweet or thoughtful for you, thank her! But also realize that not only is she sweet, but she may be sending you a signal that she would like the same thing done for her, from the heart.
I ask myself, “If someone did this for me, would it make me feel loved?” Because whatever makes me happy will probably also please someone else.
Do you want to tell her how much you love her, but you’re not so good with words? You are not alone, and that’s why the greeting card business is so huge.
So pick out a greeting card that will say it for you. She’ll be so surprised and touched by your thoughtfulness!! And she’ll love it that you actually mailed it to her, especially if she’s the one to open the mailbox.
Not in the romantic mood? Women also love it when a man can make them laugh! Pick out a funny card to send to her. Has she had a stressful week at work? Send her the card as a pick-me-up. This lets her know you notice and care.
When is the last time you shared a great memory from your wedding or a sentimental moment from one of your first dates together?
Remind her of those memories that have stayed with you and tell her why they stuck in your heart and mind. Sit down together and go through some old photos of those good times, possibly even bringing out the wedding album or pictures from the honeymoon.
Reminding her of why you fell in love with her in the first place is an important step towards renewing those feelings and making sparks fly again!
I know this sounds corny or cliché but if you feed her, she will think you are the greatest! Women love to be waited on, but rarely get it. Think about all the hundreds of meals she’s made for you. It doesn’t matter what you make for her, she will be thrilled that you did it!!
How to Make Her Happy: Breakfast in Bed
Want her attention? Come up behind her (but don’t scare her), without saying a word, move her hair away from the back of her neck and kiss her there, put your arms around her, hug her and hold her tight. Don’t be in a hurry to let her go. Enjoy the moment.
She’ll drop whatever she’s doing and give you her full attention, maybe more! Of course, if you haven’t done this in 20 years, she may be suspicious and wonder what you want, so try not to wait so long to do it.
Without being asked, do something for her that you know she hates doing. For example, if you know she hates doing the grocery shopping, get the list and do it for her. If there’s no list, tell her you want to know what she needs so you can go the store this time.
Most women do most of the housecleaning, and your woman probably does too! Don’t let her do all the work. Take it upon yourself to do some of the cleaning (for once) to show her you’re trying to make things easier for her.
Women feel like you don’t notice when the house is sparkling clean. They think you only notice when it’s messy or unkempt. Each week, help her do the housecleaning. It won’t kill you and the cleaning will get done much quicker when you share the load. This lets her know you appreciate a clean house and how much work it takes to keep it clean and shows you’re on her team.
How to Make Her Happy: Do the Dishes
Is there something around the house that she has asked you to fix so many times she’s stopped asking because she figures it will never get done?
Most women don’t like to nag. She’ll ask you a few times to fix that door that won’t shut, or put up the towel bar that came off the wall, or put up that shelf in the laundry room, but when something is not getting done, she may simply give up on you. And maybe that’s what most men are waiting for, so they won’t have to do the chore.
The last time you asked her to make your favorite meal, she made it, didn’t she? Well, then, do this for her. Fix whatever it is she has asked you to fix. This will make her want to do more for you!
Don’t know how to text? For her, learn, then text her during the day, out of the blue. Say something like, “I meant to tell you how pretty you looked this morning when you left for work,” or “you are all I can think about today, I miss you!” or simply say, “Have a good day, sweetheart!”
Many men don’t want to text. They wonder, “Why would I waste time texting when I can just call her on the phone?”
Well, one of the nice things about texting is that no one can hear what you’re saying! A couple can have a private conversation without being overheard by coworkers. Also, men, we women cannot always answer our phones while we are at work, but when we have stopped for a quick break and see that you have texted us, it brightens up our day! You don’t have to carry on a long conversation with texting, it’s just for quick messaging. So send her a few quick messages throughout the day to let her know that you are thinking of her. When she gets home that evening she will not only be happy to see you, she will thank you for letting her know you were thinking of her.
Did she come home in a bad mood? Tell her not to worry about dinner, you’ll order in. Then tell her to meet you in the bathroom because you’re going to run a nice hot relaxing bath for her. Don’t forget to light candles!
She’ll be so pleased, she may even invite you to join her . . . before the water gets cold!
Is your anniversary coming up? Surprise her by booking a one-night stay in a nice (not-too-expensive) hotel. Buy her some lingerie to wear that night.
Try to find one of those hotels that has a jacuzzi in the room. Share a soak and some wine. Talk about what you love most about each other and how you are always going to try to keep the love alive in your relationship.
Put on those hotel robes, order room service, and watch old black-and-white movies. Then make love or just cuddle with each other until you fall asleep. Always remember this moment and the moment you first knew that you loved only her.
When is the last time she did something for herself? It’s probably been quite a while, especially if she works full-time and you have children.
Make the appointment for her to have a manicure and pedicure. Tell her in advance that you have a surprise for her and she needs to set aside the time. Take her there yourself and tell her you’re treating her to this. Tell her to call you when she’s done and you’ll come get her. She’ll feel like the luckiest woman in the world for having such a sweet man.
She’s been cooking for you for how many years now? Do you tell her she’s a good cook? Do you thank her for making your favorite dishes, even though they take a lot of preparation?
Have you ever watched her cook? Have you ever sat in the kitchen and watched her and talked to her while she cooked? Or do you always leave her in the kitchen alone?
Try something new. Sit in the kitchen and watch her, notice the shape of her neck, the curve of her spine. Watch her hands as she handles the food. These are the same hands that she uses when she’s at work doing whatever she does. These are the same hands that she used to put on her makeup, fix her hair and adjust her skirt. These are also the same hands that gently grab you in a crowd, touch your face when she’s laying next to you, rub your shoulders when you’re tense. Those are the hands you held as you vowed to love her forever on the day of your wedding.
Show her you love her by joining her in the kitchen, sit down and talk to her as she’s working hard to prepare your meals with love.
I know there are some men out there that are saying to yourselves, “She’s going to walk all over me if I do these kinds of things for her.” Just let me say that the kind of men who think this way are usually takers and not givers. But I’m telling you right now, if you have a good woman by your side and want to keep her, you’re going to have to learn to give. Just as I said earlier, this article is based on two principles, one of which is “there is more happiness in giving than in receiving.”
If you love someone, truly love them, you will do whatever you can to keep them by your side and loving you back. Granted, there are some women who will not love you and appreciate you no matter what you do for them. But you are not with that woman, or you wouldn’t be reading this article to learn about some simple little things to keep your woman in love with you. You already have a good woman by your side, and you want to keep her.
Trust me, a good woman will not only think you are the greatest thing since sliced bread when you become a giver, and she will respond to your love one hundredfold! That’s why there is more happiness in giving! You’re going to get back that much, and more. Try it and you will be amazed.
How to Make Her Happy: Be a Giver
Wait on her once in a while. Does she usually pour your coffee for you, serve you first, or give you the last cookie? Once in a while, do one of those things for her.
I once dated a man who would ask me several times in an evening while at his house watching movies, “Are you okay? Do you need anything?” I always thought he was so sweet and thoughtful for asking me. You see men, it is the little things that make us love you.
When is the last time you gave her an unexpected kiss in public? Women like other people to see that their man loves them. She will love you so much more if you are proud to let everyone watching know how you feel!
Want to “wow” her even more? Grab her face with both of your hands, look into her eyes, then give her that smooch!!
When you are saying the prayer before a meal, whether in public or in private, hold her hand. This gesture tells her that you are letting God know that the prayer is from both of you
Don’t stop opening doors for her, pulling her chair out for her, letting her order first, and letting her pick the movie. Call me old-fashioned, but women still like a man who does these things. It shows her you are a gentleman and that you respect her.
Get into the habit of doing this daily. If you take the lead, she will follow your example and offer to help you more. Try it, you’ll see! Offer to help her with the cooking (maybe just peel the potatoes or wash the vegetables). You can discuss the day while helping her and it will bring you two closer together.
Offer to help with some of the cleaning. You’ll get it done sooner and have more time to spend together. Try this: Instead of her running the errands, offer to run some of them for her; or better yet, run errands together and go out to lunch together. That way it won’t seem like such a boring task or chore.
There is an old saying, “A ship cannot have two captains.” If you are the head of the household and used to making most of the decisions, try asking her for her opinion first. Even though you’re the one who will ultimately decide which direction to take, she’ll be thrilled if you ask what she thinks.
You may actually choose to follow her advice. Consider her idea: It might be the best way to go. She’ll see that you value her opinion, and this will make her love you even more.
Don’t let your anger get the best of you. Everyone argues. No couple gets along all of the time. There are going to be disagreements. But before your temper gets out of control, causing you to resort to foul language and name-calling, take a breather. Both of you need to go to separate rooms and cool off.
We have all done it. You are so angry that you shout out the most hateful or disgusting thing you can think of. As soon as you said, it, you knew as soon it was the worst thing to say, but you can’t take it back. The damage is done, and you may have hurt her feelings so deeply it will take months to repair the damage and win her approval again. She may end up forgiving you, but whether you want to believe it or not, she lost some respect for you.
So, men, take control of the argument before it gets too heated and say, “Let’s take some time to cool off and then we will come back and discuss this when we are both calm.” She will thank you for it.
Then make sure of one thing: Don’t go to sleep angry. Settle the matter or agree to settle it at a later time, but make peace with each other.
Take turns being in control of the remote for the television or DVD player. Men, this one will probably be the most difficult thing in this list for you to do, but remember: There is a good reason why you are reading this article, and it’s not always about you! So share! This gesture may say “I love you darling!” more than any other thing you could do.
Tell her how much you appreciate the little things she does for you. If you are not used to this, it will take some effort to put her feelings ahead of yours and recognize just how much she does. For example, you might say, “Thanks for listening, sweetie, I love how you always stop what you are doing and ask me how my day was.”
This is going to strengthen your relationship. When you acknowledge her and thank her for even the little things that she does for you, she is going to want to do even more to please you. So a cycle of appreciation and gratitude has begun, just keep the cycle going.
When she’s talking to you, really listen—don’t just nod your head and grunt and pretend. So what if she is not coming to the point fast enough for you? Be patient. She’s your woman, she loves you, be respectful enough to listen to what she is saying. You want her to listen to you, so do this for her. She’ll love you for it.
When you are with her, give her your full attention. Don’t let another woman in the room take your attention off of her. A woman wants to feel that she is in your focus. If you are checking out or watching other women, this will make her feel that you are constantly on the lookout for someone better. If you give her all of your attention, she will feel secure in the relationship and love you more.
I don’t care what a woman tells you about looking at pornography . . . she doesn’t like it. She feels like having her is not enough for you. She thinks you would rather fantasize about those women instead of her. Believe me, she wants to be the one that turns you on. If you feel that something is lacking in the bedroom, talk to her about it. She may be feeling the same way. Discuss what you can both do in the bedroom to turn up the heat again. Maybe buy her some sexy lingerie to wear, put some romantic music on, or light some candles. Try giving each other all-over body massages. Sometimes the massage will be relaxing and hot enough to light a new fire in both of you.
Work at showing an interest in her life. What does she do all day at work? What parts of her job does she like and which parts would she like to forget? What does she think of her boss? She spends over half of her life at work. She works hard to bring home a paycheck to contribute to the household income. Show her you appreciate it. Find out exactly what it is that she does there all day.
This is your woman, but how well do you know her? If you don’t want to learn about what drives and motivates her, you will eventually lose her.
How to Make Her Happy: Play Together
No, I am not talking about playing games with her heart. I am talking about the lost art of playing cards, board games, or word games.
When is the last time you played a game of cards? Has it been so long that you have forgotten? Maybe it’s time to start doing something together besides watching tv.
There are hundreds and hundreds of games you can play to relax and have fun together. The time that you spend playing games can be spent reconnecting and becoming best friends again.Tell her you are sorry for all the wasted moments sitting in the same room with her but not talking because you were tuned into the television instead of her.
Has it been a while since you two have been intimate? Maybe work, kids, or other concerns have been getting in the way or leaving you tired at the end of the day. Don’t keep putting it off. She may think that you don’t care anymore, so she has stopped caring also. Tell her you have missed being intimate with her, and then tell her what you are going to do about it.
Tell her that you want the both of you to “play hookie” from work. Get the kids off to school, turn off the phones, and spend the day getting reacquainted and include. . . . love-making.
When you make love to her, try some different positions and maybe even different rooms of the house. Whatever it takes to preserve your relationship and strengthen your love, DO IT!
Then make a vow to each other to never let your relationship get to that point again. Remind her of the reasons you married her and tell her that you never want to lose her.
When I was 18 years old, I had the most amazing boyfriend, although he wasn’t really a boy, he was 24, and we were crazy about each other. He had a pet name for me. He called me “Peanut.” When I asked him why he called me that, he replied, “I don’t know. To me, you’re just ‘Peanut.'” I can’t explain the feeling I got every time he called me that. He called me Peanut more than he called me by my real name. It made me feel special, and I felt like it was his way of telling me he loved me. I’ll never forget how that made me feel.
Do you have a pet name for her? A name that only the two of you know? If you do, has it been a while since you called her that?
My husband may get embarrassed because of what I am about to share with you, but he will understand why and will get over it: I met my husband online. We began our relationship thousands of miles apart—me in Kansas City, Missouri, and him on the island of Curacao in the Caribbean. After seeing his pictures, I told him he was very handsome and called him “my handsome Curacao man.” I called him that for a while, then one day we were talking about it, and he asked me “what is handsome?” (Since he was not completely fluent in English). And I told him “well, the Spanish word for handsome is ‘guapo’.” He immediately began laughing. When I asked him why, he said, “because I thought ‘handsome’ meant ‘handy’ or ‘good with the hands.'” We both broke into uncontrollable laughter for several minutes.
So, now, when I call him “my handsome Curacao man,” we both immediately smile and still break into laughter, because it makes us remember how it was when we first fell in love.
I think everyone should have a “pet” name for their mate. It endears us to them. It’s something that we have with them that we have with no one else. No matter how insignificant you may think this is, it is a way to bring you two together and keep reminding each other of your love.
When talking to her, use words like, “my darling,” “my love,” “sweetheart,” “lover,” “babe,” “honey,” or “sweetie.” Don’t just use those words when everything is going great—I’m telling you to use those kinds of words all the time, and especially when things are not going so good.
Let’s say she tried to reach you on your cell earlier in the day and she accuses you of purposely not answering your phone. You are less likely to have the situation escalate into anger if you start your sentence off with “my darling.” Take control of the situation by using words that will comfort and reassure instead of words that will only cause hurt or anger.
What is it with men and saying “I’m sorry”? You would think we were asking you to remove your “manhood” or something!
Little things go a long way with a woman. For example, you could say something like, “‘I’m sorry if it seemed like I was ignoring you last night, but you know how much I love watching those National Geographic documentaries.” Or you could say, “I’m sorry I wasn’t in a very good mood before you left this morning, I just had a lot on my mind with everything that’s going on at work.”
Do this, even about things that may have seemed small or trivial, and you will let her know that you care about her feelings. She will love you so much, and she will be more apologetic as well. What goes around comes around.
How to Make Her Happy: Make Her Laugh
Life just gets too serious sometimes. Lighten it up. Make her laugh. You know her better than anyone, and I’m sure there are some past experiences or situations that you can remember that you laughed about. Remind her of it, if you can’t think of anything new.
I remember years ago, my husband had been out of work for a while. He was filling out yet another employment application for a place he really wanted to work. He was depressed because he hadn’t found a job yet. Feeling that I had to lift his spirits, when he asked me “What should I put for salary?” I said, “Put YES!” We both started laughing so hard that it turned an otherwise depressing mood into a light-hearted one.
When is that last time you had your pictures taken together? Was it on your wedding day?
Maybe it’s time to schedule a session with a photographer. She will love you for thinking of it and it will be something you’ll both remember for a long time.
What was your favorite song as a couple when you were courting? Or what is her favorite song?
Email her the link to a YouTube video of a song you know she’ll love, one that will remind her of your courtship or wedding day, or just a song that you have chosen for her to let her know she’s still the woman in your life.
Do you have a landmark anniversary coming up? Maybe your next wedding anniversary will be a milestone, like 25, 30, 40, or even 50 years of marriage!
Why not suggest that the two of you renew your vows? Let her know how special she still is and that you would do it all over again.
It needn’t be elaborate. As a matter of fact, simple is more romantic.
I knew a couple who had been married for over 50 years and when I saw them together, whether at home, at a restaurant, or sharing in their worship, they were always holding hands.
I thought, how wonderful that after all these years they still act like they’re dating and want to hold the other’s hand!
I told her that I noticed it and asked her how she kept that same love for him that she had in the beginning. She responded “I think of it this way: how can I stay mad at him and hold his hand at the same time?” She said they never let the sun set with either of them angry with the other.
So if you’re having trouble getting over an argument, hold her hand; then the angry feeling will leave you and the words “I’m sorry” won’t be so hard to say.
Watch the opening scene to this movie. Maybe you have seen it and you remember it. I think this is a very cute scene.
They are in a bar, and they pretend this is the first time they have ever met. This is romantic, playful and fun. I think every couple should try this at least once, and just have fun with it. Say the things to each other that you never had the courage to say when you were first dating.
Now Andy Garcia and Meg Ryan make out right there at the bar and I am not suggesting you do that, because you might just get kicked out. But keep it romanitc and tasteful, and have fun with it. Also, don’t do this as a performance or to be a spectacle to onlookers. Just keep this between you and her. Be creative and sexy.
Why not add this to your list of things to do on a Friday night?