This article was developed via a partnership with BetterHelp.
Fear Of Intimacy – When it comes to avoiding an emotional or physical relationship, people who are afraid of intimacy avoidance or avoidance anxiety are known as those who are afraid of intimacy. It is not uncommon for those who suffer from this fear of intimacy to desire it, but they tend to push others away or even damage relationships as a result of their anxiety.
There are a variety of reasons why people are afraid of being intimate, but some of the most common ones are traumatic childhood experiences like being abused or neglected. To overcome this fear and anxiety, it may take some time to investigate and comprehend the underlying causes, as well as to practice allowing more vulnerability.
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7 Signs You Have A Fear Of Intimacy
Watch out for the following signs in yourself that may indicate the signs of fear of intimacy
- staying away from your partner’s body
- an unwillingness to discuss your objectives or dreams
- Avoid being impulsive or adventurous in the bedroom
- Having issues entrusting your partner with key decisions or matters
- an inability to communicate with the people in your life what you need and want
- Avoiding or having poor communication on difficult subjects in your relationships
- deliberately ruining relationships once you start to feel a connection with the other person
Causes Of Fear Of Intimacy
Fear of Being Abandoned
Anxious people are concerned that their partner will break up with them. Fear of being abandoned by a parent or other significant adult figure as a youngster is a common source of this anxiety.
Fear of Being Smothered
Fear of engulfment arises from a person’s upbringing in an entangled family, where they are terrified of being imprisoned, dominated, or “losing oneself” in relationships.
Social Anxiety
A fear of intimacy can be a symptom of a social phobia or a social anxiety disorder, as well. Intimacy anxiety may be considered a subcategory of these disorders by some psychologists.
Other people, on the other hand, may be fine in shallow social circumstances, with hundreds of acquaintances and “friends” on social media, but no meaningful human interactions at all.
People who are fearful of being judged, scrutinized, or rejected by others are more prone to avoid developing personal ties. Anxiety about intimacy can also lead to fears such as the phobia of intimacy.
How To Overcome The Fear Of Intimacy Or How To Cope
Below are some signs of how to overcome fear of intimacy and how to get over a fear of intimacy
Make Peace with Uncertainty
Those who are afraid of closeness are afraid of the consequences of a relationship that goes sour. You must recognize that there are no certainties in life or relationships. In the end, every relationship is a gamble. Despite this, maintaining meaningful interpersonal connections is a major purpose of human existence.
In addition to creating great relationships, research has shown that cultivating bravery can help alleviate fear. A word of caution: only do this with someone you have confidence in. Focus more on the here and now rather than on a specific outcome.
Allow Yourself Some Time
Intimacy may improve as a result of such positive experiences.
Positive experiences in relationships have also been found to be advantageous for those who struggle with intimacy, according to the latest research.
Don’t see your anxiety as a defect in your character. Think of it as something you can work through to better your present and future by assuming it has its roots in your distant past.
It takes time to overcome a phobia of closeness. Even if you think you’ve made progress, you’ll still face setbacks. When this happens, be gentle to yourself and give yourself a pat on the back.
Consider Your Previous Experiences
The majority of us avoid blaming a parent or parental figure for our fear of intimacy, but we do try to objectively assess our childhood connections in an effort to identify any probable influences. When you think back to the signs you received from your family, compare them to the signals you should have gotten.
Being able to see beyond the limitations of your connection with your abusive, neglecting, or overpowering parent can open your eyes to new possibilities in terms of intimacy. Visit BetterHelp to read more about how our childhood can have an impact on our adult relationships.
Show Compassion For Yourself
You will be able to create proper limits to avoid becoming engulfed and to deal with rejection if it comes your way.
Practicing self-compassion may sound simple, but it’s not always natural for everyone. To get started, you can find a number of good books and workbooks online or in print.
If you want to overcome your fear of intimacy, you must first be at ease with your own body image. Rejection isn’t as debilitating as it may appear if you’ve come to terms with your own self-worth and value.